Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize