Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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