But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
