Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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