: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
