we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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