Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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