Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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