Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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