dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
