So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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