I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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