Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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