My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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