I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
