I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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