Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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