I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
