I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you never un-have a 4some
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
