God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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