We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
