you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
