look no pants
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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