the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize