Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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