this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
