This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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