Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize