i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
