So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize