haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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