please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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