apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Operation Purity has been aborted
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
