got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
