i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
