I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
