sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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