hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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