No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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