sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
