you traded sex for a burrito?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
