He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
