Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
