got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize