I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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