I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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