In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
