I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
false alarm. still invincible.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
