I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
