Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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