Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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