is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
