so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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