Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize