So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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