I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
