A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
