Dual....:-)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
