Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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